So, the trickster visited me a couple weeks ago, which was during a monkey wave, naturally. : )
BTW… I follow this great calendar called the Keeping Time Calendar. I’ve mentioned it on this blog before, and basically it is a calendar that blends Western Astrology with modern archetypes and the Mayan time cycle, called the tzol-kin. I’ve been using it for a couple years now, and it’s amazingly spot on. Actually, a great way to learn more would be to check out my Interview with Stargazer Li.
Anyway… waves last 13 days, and this happened to be a monkey wave. Monkeys represent the playful trickster, and I certainly have been having a trickster adventure!
So, this was a Thursday evening. I was moving, was supposed to get the keys on Wednesday, and had to be out of the old apartment by Monday (or the Sheriff would come, blah). So, I picked up keys on Wednesday, but they were the wrong keys. Not only that, but at that same time, my van wouldn’t go into reverse so I ended up being temporarily stranded! Then, on Thursday, I swung by the landlord’s office to get the right keys (they knew I was coming) and they had left early for the day! I hadn’t been able to make it there sooner because of stranded vehicle situation, and as a result, I missed out on day 2 of the moving days I thought I was going to have! So, this left me with Friday and Sunday because Saturday I had a big all-day event I was co-hosting.
All day Wednesday and Thursday, I had tried to contain myself, and stay calm and centered. But, Thursday evening, my frustration boiled over and I started crying. I cried really, really hard. I was so frustrated that I had so little control over the situation (and especially after the events of the weeks before). I had thought a 5-day move would be perfect, because I could pack and unpack as I went, and adjust myself, Joy and Moxa pretty smoothly. But, things weren’t going at all like I had hoped, and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.
Finally, after a very long and very hard cry, I calmed down and realized something. I recalled that I was in the monkey wave, and I realized that this was happening to help me learn how to let go of control. I realized that my desire to make things happen exactly in a certain way keeps me from being spontaneous in the way that I want to be.
I also realized that the reason I keep myself poor (somewhat unconsciously, but sometimes I seem to outright reject or sabatoge prosperity), is because the work of trying to survive in poverty keeps me distracted from having real encounters with life, and with people. I get scared that if I get too close to people, I will lose my autonomy, and I will have to hand my will over to them.
So, interestingly, if I can learn to be less rigid about wanting to control every encounter and situation I face, and if I can free myself up enough to accept prosperity so that I’m not struggling for basic survival, then I can learn to have a more trickster-playful energy myself, and I can learn to encounter life in a fun and spontaneous way. This is always something I’ve wanted to know how to do, but not known how, and at this time it is unfolding itself to me!
This story continues. More tomorrow!