Category Archives: Positive Living

Sep1

Meeting the Trickster, Part 1

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Meeting the Trickster, Part 1

So, the trickster visited me a couple weeks ago, which was during a monkey wave, naturally. : )

BTW… I follow this great calendar called the Keeping Time Calendar. I’ve mentioned it on this blog before, and basically it is a calendar that blends Western Astrology with modern archetypes and the Mayan time cycle, called the tzol-kin. I’ve been using it for a couple years now, and it’s amazingly spot on. Actually, a great way to learn more would be to check out my Interview with Stargazer Li.

Anyway… waves last 13 days, and this happened to be a monkey wave. Monkeys represent the playful trickster, and I certainly have been having a trickster adventure!

So, this was a Thursday evening. I was moving, was supposed to get the keys on Wednesday, and had to be out of the old apartment by Monday (or the Sheriff would come, blah). So, I picked up keys on Wednesday, but they were the wrong keys. Not only that, but at that same time, my van wouldn’t go into reverse so I ended up being temporarily stranded! Then, on Thursday, I swung by the landlord’s office to get the right keys (they knew I was coming) and they had left early for the day! I hadn’t been able to make it there sooner because of stranded vehicle situation, and as a result, I missed out on day 2 of the moving days I thought I was going to have! So, this left me with Friday and Sunday because Saturday I had a big all-day event I was co-hosting.

All day Wednesday and Thursday, I had tried to contain myself, and stay calm and centered. But, Thursday evening, my frustration boiled over and I started crying. I cried really, really hard. I was so frustrated that I had so little control over the situation (and especially after the events of the weeks before). I had thought a 5-day move would be perfect, because I could pack and unpack as I went, and adjust myself, Joy and Moxa pretty smoothly. But, things weren’t going at all like I had hoped, and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Finally, after a very long and very hard cry, I calmed down and realized something. I recalled that I was in the monkey wave, and I realized that this was happening to help me learn how to let go of control. I realized that my desire to make things happen exactly in a certain way keeps me from being spontaneous in the way that I want to be.

I also realized that the reason I keep myself poor (somewhat unconsciously, but sometimes I seem to outright reject or sabatoge prosperity), is because the work of trying to survive in poverty keeps me distracted from having real encounters with life, and with people. I get scared that if I get too close to people, I will lose my autonomy, and I will have to hand my will over to them.

So, interestingly, if I can learn to be less rigid about wanting to control every encounter and situation I face, and if I can free myself up enough to accept prosperity so that I’m not struggling for basic survival, then I can learn to have a more trickster-playful energy myself, and I can learn to encounter life in a fun and spontaneous way. This is always something I’ve wanted to know how to do, but not known how, and at this time it is unfolding itself to me!

This story continues. More tomorrow!

Jul8

A Movement “From the Roots” (and Dismantling of the Fame Obsession)

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A Movement “From the Roots” (and Dismantling of the Fame Obsession)

I had a heart-opening a few days ago, that I would like to share with you. I was freaking out because I didn’t know how I was going to do my work in the world. My resources are so limited, especially my time, and I just see so much work I want to do. This consciousness shift is happening, but I do get nervous sometimes that it might not be happening fast enough. Additionally, I start thinking that the weight of the shift is on my shoulders, and I start feeling like I have to push myself harder than my physical limits will allow.

In moments like this, I am blessed with the perspective of fellow shifters. Anthony, my facebook friend and one of the new Evolver Asheville Regional Coordinators, told me, “remember, this will be a revolution with no central command, and no leaders. Its a movement from the true roots of our society, and so every contribution, no matter how big or how small, is a step in the right direction.”

Right. Breathe, Virginia! Relax. He’s correct. When I read this on my phone,(as I was waiting in the park with Joy for the fireworks), something in me shifted. I felt that he was right, and that while it’s good I’m doing what I can, I can also trust in everyone else doing this work. I don’t have to do it all myself, and I wouldn’t want to. We are all rising up together, and it is happening! This shift in consciousness is taking hold of more and more people, and we are doing it, and we can trust that the work is happening, even when we don’t see every bit of it. That’s the whole point!

Also, this made me think differently about one of my unfortunate obsessions, fame. I’ve always wanted to be famous. I think there’s a few reasons for this, one is that this obsession is a way for me to deal with the loneliness I sometimes feel. This is clearly, not a healthy approach! Another reason I’ve always been obsessed with fame is because fame grants power in our culture, and I want to have as much ability to do my work as possible. Fame would allow my work to get farther out there than if I am not well known. Interestingly, his comment addressed both these issues. When I can realize that I am not alone, that there are lots and lots of us doing this work, I don’t need to feel lonely, because I am a part of something, even if its something that’s sometimes invisible. Also, I don’t need to have fame to create these changes, because we are all creating changes together, and by doing it together, we are stronger and more resilient. That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t like my work to be well-known. I would still like that, but something about these comments softened this desire in me… put it back into a healthier proportion to the bigger goal of contributing to the shift.

Joy and I enjoyed the fireworks, and on the walk had another experience. We were walking within a huge crowd of people traveling away from the park, and a woman’s voice rose up. As we got closer to her beautiful song, I noticed that a big crowd had formed around her to listen. The crowd was big enough that other pedestrians had to walk onto the side of the road to get by. Cars weren’t happy about the flow of foot traffic, but something about this scene made me very happy. I felt united, not only with the walking pedestrians but also the standing observers. I also stopped to listen to the woman sing. She had a basket by her feet, and it was overflowing with dollars. Everyone who passed by was moved by her incredible voice, and there was a feeling of connectedness and reverence within the crowd.

This is when everything hit home for me. Humanity is really all connected, and we can make the changes we need to make, because of our shared experiences. Sometimes, people might emerge as a focal point for our attention (like this singer) but what it’s really about is our common humanity. Not only was this a mental shift for me, but I felt it in my body as well. I felt a visceral connection with all these people, and with all people. I felt even deeper the truth of Anthony’s words, and I felt the change pushing up through the Earth.

Looking through a store window to the Singing Woman

Jul4

Putting the “Fun” back in Functional

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Putting the “Fun” back in Functional

I had a bit of an epiphany last night while I was at the park playing with Joy. We were climbing and sliding and swinging and spinning through the pre-dusk evening light, stopping every now and then to point at rising fireflies, when it came to me. I’ve been too serious lately, so much so that I’ve lost touch with the fun parts of the shift that I am hoping to create. In doing so, I’ve decreased my functionality, because I’ve been overwhelmed by the gravity of things happening in the world.

I see consciousness shifting as a delicate balance of the light and dark, the unseen and the seen, the difficult and the joyful. If we are going to come out intact from the changes upon us, we need to be aware of the problems we face. When I realized a few months ago that peak oil could very well be the catalyst for the shift, it took me some time to adjust to that possibility. Then, of course, the BP Disaster happened (and continues to happen) and I felt so, so heavy. While I continued to feel hope, my heart felt weighed down by the awareness of the crisis.

I think I had to experience that grief, but I also think that if I let myself stay there too long, I won’t be effective at much of anything. And, I don’t want to put all my energy focusing on the things that are wrong, because then I will only create more of the same. To really create this shift, not only do we have to be aware of the things that don’t work about the current status quo, we need to also create a new, joyful connected world, the world we really want. Isolation and depression are major tenants of our old way of living, and connection and joy are hallmarks of the world we can create new.

So, I’m going to spend more time focusing on fun. I will experiment with activities that shift my perceptions into states of pleasure, bliss and connection. I’m thinking of even posting some exercises on here, games to play to break the hold of oppressive mind-sets. Stay tuned, because I’m just getting started…

Jul1

I am being the change

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I am being the change

Shortly, I will be posting a note about projects I’ve been working on, but first I thought I’d mention things I’m working on in my personal life (so that I can do what Ghandi said and be the change I want to see):

1) I am planning to begin commuting by bike. I haven’t decided if it will be 100% yet (and include selling my car to buy the bike) but I am strategizing. If anyone has any great tips for commuting via bike, please share them with me. I want to end or at least significantly decrease my oil consumption, and get in better shape. Also, I find that being in a car (especially driving around in traffic) makes me feel less connected with the world. To best ride the changes to come, I want to be very much in touch with my body and the physical world around me.

2) I am starting again Cheri Huber’s “Making a Change for Good” personal retreat. I am now on day 3. Cheri explains Buddhist concepts in a way I actually get, and she gives great tools for “compassionate self discipline.” This program involves daily meditation and check-in and also working on one area of your life. It doesn’t matter if you screw up, or even if you quit. The whole point of the program is to learn what your conditioned mind does to stop you from doing what you want. I definitely feel my conditioned mind resisting this work, but I also see it working.

3) I am working to take better care of myself. This is tricky when I’ve got so many other things going on, but obviously necessary. Sleeping and eating are both good. This is part of the reason I asked for help (on my Facebook note which I will post shortly), because my resources are stretched so thin I am struggling. I want to keep on doing the work I am doing, and even expand on it, but without going crazy.

4) I am working on a master-organization plan for my apartment. For the last few months, a lot of things have been up in the air, so I haven’t been dedicating any time to organization, but if I’m going to be efficient at everything I do (AND stay healthy AND be a good and attentive mom) then I need to have a system for everything in my apartment.

These are all things that involve work up front, but save work and suffering in the long-term. I want to be able to continue doing the work that is important to me, and that includes making my life more efficient and healthy, and also living the work.

Jun24

A Letter to my Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandchild

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A Letter to my Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandchild


Dearest child,

There is a Native American belief which states that every action should be considered with an awareness of its impact on the next seven generations. This ideal has been lost in our current culture, however, I am choosing to contemplate your future life so that I can gain a compass reading on my own life. I hope to do well by you.

If you get this message, it means that you (and the human species) exists, and that is good. Whether or not you get this message, I hope that you are happy, safe and healthy. I hope that the culture you live in is much more balanced and healthy than the culture I have grown up in and still live in.

I live in difficult and confusing times, so much so that many people don’t realize them as such. Our culture is so deeply inbalanced that many children are abused, many women (and men) are raped, racism exists at subtle and overt levels, and we are raping the Earth at profound rates to feed our addictions to wasteful lifestyles. Large corporations seem to have more power than people, more power than elected officials, and again, the Earth is raped repeatedly for greed and our modern consumerist addictions to “stuff.” Especially in the United States, many people have bought the lie that we are consumers more than citizens, and because of this, passivity and apathy are the general state of things. Even amongst people with the will to care, everything seems so hopeless that it’s not worth the energy or heartache to do anything about the things that are wrong. This mood of helplessness is fostered by those in power to keep us passive. Also, divisiveness is fostered by people in power to retain their power. Racism is one example. When poor white people resent poor black people, we are not rising together to address our common oppressions.

If you study world history, you can learn that whoever controls the information controls everything. That is true in my time as well. Corporate interests own most media outlets, and therefore few Americans have access to what’s really going on. There are independent media sources, but they are struggling a great deal financially. I think this is part of how the whole system works… artists with real visions and independent journalists both are marginalized in our system, because they cannot make a living without “selling out.” Our consumerist culture has essentially made spiritual slaves of many people, because it is nearly impossible to exist outside of the system. This was not always true, because the means of basic living used to be in the hands of all people. Now, even the basics need to be purchased, and to get back to a more natural, sustainable way of living takes some (often financial) resources.

Movements are happening, however, to do just this. Transition Towns is one example. It is a re-localization movement in response to the twin problems of peak oil and climate change. Surely, seven generations from now, you have heard of peak oil, and think of it in the far past-tense. However, many people today haven’t heard of it at all, although we have likely passed it. Right now, we are facing an awareness crisis. Many people don’t realize the extent of the real problems facing us, many others don’t realize the causes of the problems, and many others don’t see any way to change. There are lots of examples of change in history, change is possible, but I feel like many people just don’t see it.

I hope your existence means that I, and/or others like me, succeeded. I hope that you can look back on my lifetime and see that this was the time we turned everything around, we stopped the speeding freight train and ensured humanity’s survival. The ego part of me hopes that I had a big role in changing humanity’s trajectory, but I realize this is a shallow dream. What’s really important is that I did what I could, and that somehow, all together, we achieved the necessary and yet seemingly impossible challenges before us.

Right now, there is an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that is gushing crude oil and methane. The gas company BP is adding toxic dispersants in the millions of gallons in an effort to decrease the visibility of the spill (in order to make themselves look less bad). The total effect of all of this is not known, and yet we do know that a lot of death will result, of wildlife, ecosystems, and people. 11 people died in the explosion that caused the “leak,” and as of today, 2 clean-up workers have died, although no link has been proven yet. Because of exposure to toxic oil, methane and dispersants, more people could die, especially because in many cases BP is not providing proper safety gear for clean-up workers. The travesties go on and on, but I will stop listing them now.

I hope that if you have heard of this spill at all, you heard of it in the context of this is the time that people woke up and changed things. It is hard not to feel helpless when a huge corporation like BP is calling the shots and making horrible decisions. It’s easy to feel like the world is ending when we see the early effects of this disaster and still people in the government still want to perform more offshore drilling. But, I believe, more than ever, that we can make changes if enough people rise up together. I hope that is the story I will get to tell my daughter, grandaughter, and maybe the story will trickle down to you. I hope that this is the time that not only did we step up to corporate abuse of power, but also reclaimed our power as citizens. I hope that we, at this time, end our addiction to fossil fuels and stop raping the Earth for her last bits of fuel. I hope this is the story that you eventually learn of my times.

Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandchild of mine, I wish you the best, which is why I am taking this all so seriously. It’s not just our relationship to fossil fuels that is our problem, its our entire relationship to power, and relationship to ourselves. We have not yet learned how interconnected we all are. Our society’s roots are in domination and separation and conquer, and these ideologies persist still. If the world and human race is to survive to you, I think we will need to learn that we are all One.

I hope you have had a better life already than mine has been so far. My parents were both abusive, and I had a difficult start. While I do hold them responsible, I also think they are products of a highly toxic culture, and I hope that the toxicity has been washed away long before your birth. I hope that humanity has a spiritual awakening soon, in my lifetime. I have spent much of my adult life healing, which I feel has given me perspectives on the great healing that needs to happen in the world. Just in the last few years (with the birth of my daughter Joy) have my healing efforts turned from inward to outward. Because we are all connected, I had to heal myself first. Because we are all connected, my healing does not end at myself. I am part of the larger world, and so I feel I must be part of the healing. It starts with reducing my own oil dependency and becoming more reliant on local networks for food and other needs. It also includes speaking out about the problems I see and singing out about the hope I feel.

By the time of your birth, I hope that humankind has long been peaceful and the Earth’s ecosystems have been restored. I hope that your life is free, peaceful, in balance with nature and all life, and full of love. So may it be, because after all, I am doing this for you!

Love,
Your great-great-great-great-great grandma!

p.s. I have included a picture of my sleeping daughter, Joy, your great-great-great-great grandmother. She is 2 years old at the time of this writing. I look at this picture, and I can imagine it’s of you. Children are born into this world with whole and shiny spirits. Joy gives me hope for living. She was born into difficult times, but has not been touched by them. She is still so connected with her spirit, that she is really an angel. All children are this way. As humans, it is not our nature to be destructive, that is a result of conditioning. It is our nature to be pure loving spirits. Even as adults, when we have lost our sense of connection to the divine, we are still pure and loving spirits, we just are disconnected from our source. May we all find our way back again! Love-Love!

Jun23

River Walking: Flow is My Answer to our Problems

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River Walking: Flow is My Answer to our Problems

In these troubling times, sometimes its hard to know how to function in the world and stay open and present. With the oil and methane continuing to gush into the Gulf, where it is mixed with toxic dispersants, and cover-up efforts being as extensive as clean-up efforts, it’s becoming clear how much power corporations really have in our country. This is as if Citizens United hadn’t already make this power distribution plenty clear already.

It’s easy to want to shut off and tune out. I have heard from many friends that they are in so much pain from the Gulf situation that they have turned off entirely. I can understand this perspective, even as I think it’s detrimental. People in the Gulf are surrounded by a lot of silence, some silence from those who are indifferent and some silence from people are in pain. When we show solidarity with the Gulf, we show people there that we care and that we understand we are all connected. What happens to a whale in the Gulf, or a fisherman, effects me. We are all connected, and if we can come into this awareness, we have a chance to work together to make this world the world we want.

On June 21st, Obama made a speech about the proposed climate bill. Click Here to See Speech. One thing from the speech really caught my attention: “Real change is only possible when ordinary Americans are willing to organize from the bottom up.” This is true. Although it sometimes seems like our government is owned by corporate interests, to some degree, we can influence the government by speaking out. Obama has said this before, as have past presidents. If we want our government to represent our interests, we need to be very vocal about what we want. It’s a start anyway.

So, how do we stay open and aware to the difficult situations in the Gulf (and other places) without becoming so cynical we close down and give up? That’s where I think spirituality comes in. Not spirituality as in religion, or dogma, that tells us what to believe, but spirituality in the sense of connecting with Spirit, the life force, our own internal divinity or wisdom. When we come into a sense of greater connection with everything, painful events can’t overpower us. When we can live with the flow of life, we can live with peace in our hearts at the same time that we are able to respond to the pain of others and speak out about abuses of power.

Here’s a metaphor I’d like to share with you about how to live open in this way:

When I was in college, I loved to go spend time at the Kinnikinnick River. I did a lot of hiking, but sometimes I also did what I called River Walking. Here’s a sample of that experience (written in present tense for immediacy):

Breathing in the fresh woodsy wet air, I push through foliage for a nice flat place to put my shoes. My breathing slows down and I feel peaceful as I listen to the river rushing, talking to me, soothing me. I set my shoes next to a distinctive tree (so that I remember where I left them), and I ease my feet into the icy cold water. The sun beats down on my head and my breath quickens as my feet get accustomed to the cold. I shift my weight onto my bare feet, listening to my feet. With my tender soles, I feel where the rocks are shifting or holding steady, I feel the rush of water and the cold creeps up my legs.

Carefully, listening to information from the skin of my feet, I creep towards the center of the river. My mind quiets as I discern whether rocks are steady enough to bear weight or not. Occasionally, a rock slips, and because I feel it as it happens, my weight shifts to the other foot and I continue to search for steady rocks. As I get closer to the center of the river, the water rises higher and higher until it is well above my knees. The water pushes against my legs, threatening to throw me off-balance, and I counter by slowing my breath even further and listen more deeply with my feet.

I exist in a state of balance as the water rushes against and past me. The top of my body is hot from the sun as my legs are getting numb from the cold. I can hear nothing but water rushing over rocks, and my thoughts dissipate to near silence. A cool, steady calm washes over my brain, washes over the anxiety I brought with me. Soon, I am aware of only the cold wet, the sound of water rushing, my tender feet on the rough rocks, the fresh air cleaning through my steady lungs, and the conscious choice to shift weight, test a rock, steady, shift weight, test a rock, steady… My life is this… this motion through the water, this union with the river, this motion, steady, testing, motion, steady…

After a little while, insights start pouring into my mind… answers to my life’s problems, clues to my internal puzzles, ideas about new directions to go. I can’t help but get excited as these new insights start pouring in, but when I try to hold onto anything, I lose my balance a bit. A rock doesn’t hold as steadily as I thought it would, and I scramble a bit on the slippery rocks to regain my balance.

The struggle floods me with adrenaline and clears my mind for a moment as I focus my energies on not being carried away by the rushing waters. Soon, I am centered and balanced again. I decide to let the insights come… and go. As insights flow into my brain, I let them arrive, and then let them go just as the flow of water flows past me.

Whenever I try to hold onto an idea, the experience repeats itself. It’s just as if I am trying to catch the water flowing past me instead of letting it flow by… the resistance created by holding on creates drag and I lose my balance. Eventually, I stay in a state of complete openness, letting information flow into me and back out again. I stay in a state of peace and balance as I walk my way upstream. I make an agreement with my subconscious that these ideas will come back to me later at a time I can use them. My conscious and subconscious mind work like this, together, with ease.

Eventually, I turn around and head back downstream to where my shoes are. By the time I climb onshore, I feel cleansed through and through, as my spirit and mind feel clear and light. In walking with the river, I became one with the river and the insights that flowed through my mind enriched me even when I didn’t hold onto anything.

This is a way to move through life, not just rushing water. I chose to try to stay open, let life flow through me without resistance. In this way, I can stay open to the problems, solutions, joy and pain of life without getting carried away. Flow is my answer.

Jun7

Doom vs Hope, continued

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Doom vs Hope, continued

Okay, so after writing that last post about feeling doom-y, I did my daily meditation and found center again. The answer I found for myself, for now, is that I don’t need to know if or why there is hope in order to chose to feel calm and peaceful. I can do my work in the world (which I believe will soon be also related to oil spill solidarity) without knowing it will work or knowing what will happen. That’s not as pretty a packaged answer as I’d like, but I guess it’ll do for now.

In meditation, I have been finding that part of me that doesn’t even identify with thoughts, can observe thoughts but does not think them. I guess I could say I have found my core? It’s pretty nice, I like it, although I do feel resistance to going there when I’m not there. Cheri Huber would say that’s my conditioned mind trying to maintain the control it’s used to. Which is precisely why I am following a meditation practice. I am ready to no longer be a slave to my thoughts.

So, I don’t know what the answer to everything is. Maybe it’s not my job to know how absolutely everything fits together and is going to work out, but I can share my journey and share the things I discover. I will continue to try to stay open to the world and I can already tell this practice is helping me. If I can release some of my notions of good and bad, or how things “should” be, I can live in each moment and doing my best without trying to expend all my energy forcing outcomes I can’t control. I used to think Buddhist detachment was a way of avoiding doing work in the world, and I think I’m now seeing it as doing work in the world, being fully present to circumstances without letting the up and down of situations throw me off balance. If I can stay centered and clear, I can ride the waves and stay focused on clear actions, instead of spending all my energy on trying to simply will the world to be different for my own inner peace.

I’m not there yet, but I am seeing glimpses. I guess this kind of peace is the peace of the warrior. That’s what I feel like right now, a warrior, centering and preparing. In this moment, the question of doom or hope is irrelevant. All that matters is maintaining balance and staying centered, so that any actions I take are effective and focused, clear and centered, peaceful and powerful. I continue to breathe. In. Out. Ahh.

Feb26

Reconceptualizing War

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Reconceptualizing War

Here is a great article I invite you to read and ponder. You will have to cut and paste the URL because i can’t hyperlink from my phone.

http://www.opendemocracy.net/5050/mary-kaldor/reconceptualising-war

This way of looking at war, or even political conflict, makes a lot of sense to me. It’s about brokering power, not trying to win. By going to war with an “outside” force, you garner support and power from your own people. Sure, people suffer and even sometimes die, but power is worth the cost, right?

A point that I especially like in here is the idea that peace cannot be attained by trying to appease the so-called grievances of the warring leaders. These excuses for war are created and manipulated in order to establish a sense of “us vs them” mentality which keeps rulers in power. Instead, the article suggests, focus on the everyday people. Instead of engaging in the artificial ideological arguments, take care of human needs and cultural infrastructure and economies. Make it possible for regular people to meet their basic needs (clean water, food, shelter, health care).

It’s an interesting theory. It resonates within me although I can’t really say I know for sure if it is true or not (particularily the offered solution). I do agree that “spin” is one of the most powerful forces in shaping human events. Whoever controls the flow of information has the power to control everything.

These are some of the reasons I’m so fascinated by the nature of reality, or rather, interested in how perceptions of the nature of reality are shaped. The media has so much power in this realm, which is why I am so interested in mefia reform, media literacy education and even creating media myself.

I don’t buy the messages of “us and them” any more than I buy the illusion that we are all on our seperated, isolated journeys. We are all connected, and what happens to one person effects all people. If we can get past our fears of “other,” of “them” and see that they are *us,* we can bypass these stupid power games and reclaim our world!

Feb25

Fate and Free Will (and a Great Radio Show)

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Fate and Free Will (and a Great Radio Show)

Recently, on the Diana’s Grove Mystery School on-line discussion forum, someone asked about the paradox of believing in both faith and free will. Below is my personal answer.

I do believe, as Rob Breszny states, “The Universe is conspiring to shower me with blessings.” Right now, I’m especially feeling that way because things in my life are really coming into fruition. I’m starting a new radio show on the local Low-Power FM station, and I am sort of feeling like everything in my life has led me to this moment.

The show is called “Systemic Effect” and is about the current conciousness shift, changing of the ages, and people who are riding the front wave of it and doing the work. Although this is a volunteer producer position, Ive decided (or been called?) to dream big for it. My goal is for it to become a nationally syndicated radio program by a year from now. I feel like it could really happen, too. I have the necessary skills, I know lots of people who are in some unique way dedicated to the shift, i have an ever-solidifying vision of the structure of the big shift, and I think a lot of people would be very excited to access the information and ideas of this show.

I am suddenly very clear that this is my life’s work at this time, and that everything before this is leading to this work, and everything after this will in some way benefit or stem from this work.

A lot of my current life situations are due to my following some very intense guidance I have been getting. Moving to Asheville is the biggest example. I felt so called to come here even thoigh it seemed crazy to make such a big move with a toddler and I did not have the resources to do this transition smoothly. As a result, I have had the *opportunity* to confront and release my deepest fears. It has been a hard road, and yet through it all I have managed to stay true to my deepest core values. Even through intense poverty, I have been a great mom. My daughter, Joy, has continued to have a great life, and I have remained true to myself even through crushing doubt. As a result, I am stronger in myself than ever, and I am now living in a great town that is the perfect launching place for my life’s work. See, it is all coming together!

Regarding free will, I fully believe that fate is an infinitely flexible thing. I think it is possible to refuse the lessons we came into our lives to learn. The result is that our lives then repeat the same lessons over and over until we get it and can move on to the next thing. Once we learn to listen to and follow our deepest passions and guidance, we are able to break our patterns and live as co-creators with the Universe. That’s how I see it, anyway.

One of the beauties of the approach at Diana’s Grove is the leadership approach of “leading people to their own discoveries.” I like this because no one but me can actually know or discover what my real lessons are. From the outside, many of my recent actions may have seemed self-destructive, but only I could have known how trully I have been following destiny’s call. Because DG is a community where no one preaches to me and tells me what my path is, I am able to really listen deeply to what my own heart knows. I am so grateful for the love and encouragement I get here.

So, I believe in fate and free will as both real and seperate, yet symbiotically interrelated. Anyone else? How do you see these forces at work in your life?

Feb11

Unconventional Health

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Unconventional Health

Health has been very much on my mind lately. Last week, Joy got thrush and this week we have a doctor appointment where I know her tooth decay will be mentioned again in the context of suggesting I stop night nursing.

I chose to treat the thrush with homeopathy, diet change and probiotics instead of going to her doctor to get anti-fungals. This was a hard decision for me, but one I felt and still feel very strongly about. So many Western Medicine treatments only throw the body further off-balance, creating more and more future health problems. I would like to avoid this chain reaction, so I abstained from the easier way of doing things. We changed our entire diet in one day and pursued unconventional treatments in the face of intense skepticism. In the process, I had to learn more about standing in my own truth. Difficult, but a valuable learning experience.

Now, Joy seems to have recovered fully from her thrush, but we have the trickier issue of her teeth. Interestingly, too many refined carbs is a culprit in both of these issues, hence the diet change is so important.

I’ve been doing a lot of research this week and found that science backs me up in my belief that breastmilk does not cause tooth decay. In fact, it has healthy bacteria which fight tooth decay. Cow milk would have the same makeup except for the pasteurization process.

Turns out, many factors go into tooth decay. Diet, bacteria, genetics, and in kid’s teeth, gestation. One thing that can cause tooth decay like this is stress during pregnancy (and boy was I stressed), or illness (I had a wicked flu second trimester).

The good news is that we might be able to stop the decay. Diet change is huge, and we are doing that. Homeopathy can help, and we are doing that too. Probiotics, ditto. Interesting that the treatments are the same for both these issues. That falls in line with the concept in Natural Medicine that an illness is just one symptom of the bodies overall imbalance, and that multiple illnesses can be treated by the same single method because it treats the core imbalance.

There are other methods which I plan discussing with the dentist when we see him in a little over a week, icludong essential oils and also more conventional treatments (like sealants). The sad thing is, this whole “nighttime breastfeeding is bad” mantra is not only untrue, it also distracts from other types of problem solving. I think I’ve found a dentist who is a little more savvy, and hopefully he can help me navigate these waters.

It’s really interesting to me how false ideas about health, bearing little substantive evidence, enter the mainstream and become conventionally considered fact.

Take flouridated water. While flouride can help teeth, it is also a very dangerous chemical. It’s put into our water but it actually has not been proven to benefit our oral or overall health when taken this way. Actually, it’s a toxin, considered slightly more toxic than lead, and yet is used in much greater quantities than lead is safe at. Flouride overdose has been linked to many cancers and other illnesses including Alzheimers. Why do we put it in our drinking water?

How about lice treatment? Remember getting lice in kindergarten, and having to use that awful shampoo? The toxic chemical smell, the burn on your skin. Did you know that olive oil kills lice even more effectively than that crap? Load your hair with olive oil, don a shower cap, and let it sit for an hour. All the lice and nits will be dead!

In my opinion, a lot of this comes down to greed and corruption again. People want to make money, so they invent ridiculous crap and then convince the public we need it. I’ve heard the whole Flouride thing was an industrial cover-up by industries that didn’t want to have to pay legal consequences of their actions, as they were facing numerous lawsuits for health damages done to people downstream of plants that were dumping Flouride. Instead, they created a giant spin campaign to convince the public that Flouride in drinking water is good. Then, instead of spending money to dispose of toxic waste, they get paid money to dump it into the drinking water. Messed up, huh? I don’t know if this story is true or not, but if you know, please tell me! Makes me want to buy a reverse-osmosis water filtering system, but they run about $300!

Alas, it’s so much effort and money to stay ahead of all the toxic crap being shoved at us, and so hard and scary to defy convention in pursuit of healthier healing. Push those edges too far, and get treated like a freak. Avoid pushing, and become complicit in your own pharmaceuticalized (sure, its a word) destruction. It’s oh, so easy to fall for the lines. It’s so easy to not see the harm. I know. I get hypnotized by it sometimes, too. But, I continue to fight this toxic culture. Because it’s who I am and what I am here for.