Monthly Archives: September 2010

Sep17

Escape Velocity: My actions have traction!

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Escape Velocity: My actions have traction!

Have you ever, in working to free yourself from an old or destructive cycle, felt a moment where you knew you were going to make it? I call that moment reaching escape velocity. I can feel it approaching when things start going bad more slowly than I can fix them.

It’s the time right before reaching this speed that’s often the hardest to keep faith, because it feels like everything is standing still. And, for a brief moment, everything really does seem to stop. It’s because the rate of things going wrong evens with the rate of things going right. And, at this moment, it’s easy to question everything, question the path, because no effect is seen (although the momentary stasis is actually a sign of having effect).

Then, suddenly, little bit by little bit, things start getting easier. Goals start getting more attainable, progress becomes more real.

Without going into the details, this is what I’m feeling right now. The last month and a half or so has really felt out of control, starting with the whole apartment situation. Just now, I’m starting to feel more settled, starting to feel like my actions have traction. I still have a lot of things to sort out, but I’m feeling like I am having positive impact on my life!

Could be that the effects of this intense retrograde season are lessoning now. Planets are turning direct again. I think it’s going to be fun to see how things fold the next month or so, with all the effort finally having some footing!

Sep11

Intuitive Readings Available

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Intuitive Readings Available

Because I so much enjoyed doing intuitive readings last week on my radio show, I’ve decided to try to see if I can make a bit of extra money offering them as a service to the community. If you are interested in getting a reading from me, send me an email at my new address, a.trickster.goddess (at) gmail.com, and let me know what your question is, and what you are able to pay for the answer. If you can’t afford anything, I may still answer, especially if the question is a good one, but if you can pay something, I would like to be compensated for my time. Also, I am willing to take organic cooked or raw food in exchange for a reading (a great deal for those of you locals who are about at harvesting time right now).

The types of questions I specialize in are interpersonal situations, personal growth questions, and life-path questions. I am not comfortable doing medical readings at this time, because it seems to be an area I don’t get any messages. So, I can’t tell you if you will get pregnant, or if you have a certain health issue or not. Sorry about that. But I can give intuitive information about these types of questions:

How can I live my life more fully?
How can break through the walls of conditioned perception?
What am I not seeing in my current situation?
What energies are at play in me in this relationship?
What is my role to play in the current consciousness shift?
How can I get my energy un-stuck?

If you have a question on this list, email me and I’ll see if it’s something I can get a read on. I’ll be able to tell right away if I can tune into what you want to know or not.

So, once you email me your question and the amount you are willing to pay, I will respond and let you know if I can be of service. Then, I will give you the reading (BEFORE you pay!). If you feel good about the reading, you then pay me the amount you agreed upon. You will know if a reading is good if you get an ‘aha’ moment from what I say. I accept credit card payments through paypal (just click on the little yellowish button on the top of my website) or cash or food. If paying in cash, obviously, that might have to be over the mail or in person. If paying in food, it should definitely be in person!

Also, I do accept donations, if you like the work I am doing and would like to see me continuing it. That little “donate here” button is perfect for that, but again I also accept cash or food! Thank you!

Sep11

Activist Community Potluck

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Activist Community Potluck

5-8pm, Sunday September 19th
Malvern Hills Park
Asheville, NC

This is the first of many monthly potlucks, each on a different topic, and each in a different location. All activists, community builders and leaders, and any community members are welcome. This is a great opportunity to get together, build relationships, network, share ideas, brainstorm, and synergize.

This month’s topic is Food Security, a very hot topic these days. If catastrophe strikes, will Asheville have enough food? …What would it take to create a food security plan for 2011? How can we network and work together so that everyone will have enough to eat if, for example, we can no longer ship food into our city?

The majority of our time together will be spent having conversations amongst ourselves, and getting to know one another. However, we will circle up to do introductions and also do have a brief brainstorming session to get the juices flowing. We hope that the conversations of the evening will lead to future alliances, and plant seeds for future work between individuals and groups in the community.

Sep11

Screening of “2012: Time for Change”

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Screening of “2012: Time for Change”

Evolver Asheville is offering an advanced screening of “2012: Time for Change.”

“2012: Time for Change” presents an optimistic alternative to apocalyptical doom and gloom.

Directed by Emmy Award nominee João Amorim, the ?lm follows journalist Daniel Pinchbeck, author of the bestselling 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl, on a quest for a new paradigm that integrates the archaic wisdom of tribal cultures with the scienti?c method. As… conscious agents of evolution, we can redesign post-industrial society on ecological principles to make a world that works for all.

Rather than breakdown and barbarism, 2012 heralds the birth of a regenerative planetary culture where collaboration replaces competition, where exploration of psyche and spirit becomes the new cutting edge, replacing the sterile materialism that has pushed our world to the brink.

$5 dollar suggested donation (to pay for use of the DVD and use of the space), but nobody will be turned away (or embarrassed) for lack of funds. We will pass a hat after the movie is over.

7pm, Saturday September 18th
Firestorm Cafe
48 Commerce Street
Asheville, NC 28801

To RSVP, click here.

Sep11

Action Asheville Listserv

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Action Asheville Listserv

Created a listserv called Action Asheville. Action Asheville is a forum to bring together groups and individuals dreaming of ways to make Asheville and the world a better place. None of the work we do exists in a vacuum, and all that we do is interconnected. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, what we need is a revolution of values. All oppression is interrelated, and also all avenues of awakening are interconnected with each other. If we work together, we are stronger.

On this forum, we will announce upcoming events and calls to action. We will offer our work to the community, and also share our needs (for volunteers, for resources, etc). We will share links with interesting information, and we will have discussions about not only the work we are each individually doing, but discussions about how we can work together and serve each other.

This group is not limited to those who are already doing work in the community or world. Anyone can join who has an interest of doing this work, or learning more about this work. This group is not only for us talking with and working with each other, but also is a place where people can come to learn how to get involved.

To get involved, click here.

Sep6

Trickster Inspired

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Trickster Inspired

So, yesterday on my radio show Systemic Effect, I let my inner Trickster Goddess inspire me.

This decision was partly prompted by my apparent inability to get an interview established with anyone for this date. I tried asking several people, but nobody was available. This may be because of Labor day weekend, perhaps, because I never have this much trouble booking an interview. It’s usually actually relatively easy. That’s not to say everyone I ask says yes (the Dalai Lama’s office said no on his behalf), but many do. So, this situation was unusual for me, and I ran out of time.

Viewing this situation in the light of recent events (the Trickster Awakening that I discussed in recent posts), I figured my lack of interviewee was for a reason, and a way for me to step beyond my usual way of doing things. So, I accepted the challenge and dedicated the show to the Trickster Goddess.

I offered on my facebook page and on the air to do free intuitive readings for people. While I would say I am extremely intuitive, I’ve never done official readings before, so it was a shot in the dark. Outside of readings, I figured I’d spend the rest of the hour talking about the trickster.

The show started slow. I struggled a bit for words, but managed not to panic. Then, phone calls started coming in, as well as requests on Facebook for readings on specific questions. Soon, time was speeding by.

I think it went really well. For the most part, I did get specific intuitions about people’s questions. I did find out, though, that my intuitive skills don’t apply to questions relating to medical issues. I get no hunches or nudges or even inklings. Nothing. It could be because I care so much about the people asking that I want the answer to be one thing so much that I struggle to really listen. But, I also just think it’s not my area of work. Some people ARE medical intuitives. Caroline Myss is the perfect example. She just automatically can sense how blockages in a person’s energy field are effecting their physical health. She can sense health issues that haven’t been detected yet. There are certainly people who can do this sort of thing. I can’t.

Areas that my intuition are particularly strong relate to relationship dynamics (like the question, “what forces are in play here?)” and spiritual awakening questions. I felt that my answers to these types of questions were really strong, and maybe an avenue of work for me.

I’m considering having a bit of a business set-up where I do readings for people. Because I’m new at this, because people are in tough financial times, and because there are some areas I’m more strong than other areas, I’m thinking about having a bit of an unusual set-up.

So, here’s my thoughts. If people are interested in my services (which will be laid out on a website), they send me a request. They tell me the basic type of question (relationship, job, etc), and how much they are willing/able to pay if the answer I give is helpful. I either accept or turn down the offer. If I accept the offer and when I am done offering the reading, the person has the choice whether to pay that amount or not. They pay according to whether what I said felt right or not, and was helpful or not. That way, hopefully, I can both make some money and get some practice, but also be held accountable. If the information I offer isn’t helpful, then people can move on.

Thoughts? Comments? Ideas? What do you think?

Back to the radio show, I don’t know if I’ll do live readings again, because I think sometimes my intuition does better if it’s not rushed that much, especially with an audience listening. Generally I check in with my intuition via meditation or some kind of inner silence, and silence on the air is bad. However, I do think I’ll continue to do live call-ins. I liked the energy of that.

So, I’m happy it went how it did. I’m even grateful I didn’t book an interview, because this experience pushed me into a new realm of relatedness. What draws me about the trickster energy is the crack it creates in conditioned perception. It sure did that for me today!

If you want to listen to the show, you can go to http://main-fm.org/nav/archives/
Scroll down to Systemic Effect.

This archive will be available from today til next Sunday. Let me know what you think!

Sep3

Meeting the Trickster, Part 3 (Oh, yeah, and I’m an Earth Healer)

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Meeting the Trickster, Part 3 (Oh, yeah, and I’m an Earth Healer)

Don’t think I’ve mentioned this here before, but I’m an Earth Healer. I have the capacity to energetically connect with the land below me, talk to it, and heal it. In the process, I also heal myself and open myself up to a whole new dimension of existence. Sounds pretty cool, huh? You’d think I’d do it all the time, then, huh? You’d sure think.

For some reason, this is something I’ve only done a few times but have always been able to do with little difficulty. With the money concerns I’ve been having lately (money, food, shelter and physical well-being are all Earth energy), I decided to do my thing. I also decided that I want to do this more often, for my own well-being but also because with everything we humans are doing the Earth right now, she can use our good vibes!

So, when Joy fell asleep for her nap, I went and sat on the back deck and meditated. The trick to doing this work is to get to the smallest core of myself, to become that tiny area of energy. Then, I acknowledge that everything in the Universe is reflected in that tiny spot. Suddenly, I can feel all of everything inside of me, including and especially the land within a quarter mile or so. At this point, I just offer my presence, I don’t try to fix or actively do anything. Awareness in itself is healing, so I offer my awareness, and I let myself flow through any resistence I feel either from myself or from the energy of the land (and some land is carrying some nasty energy from bad things people have done). I just stay in connection and I let it flow, and that’s how the work is done. It’s always really powerful, so as I said, I’m not sure why I don’t do it more. Maybe because it’s so mind blowing!!!

Anyway, even though this meditation was to address Earth and Money issues (which I did feel a lot of shifting on), the most prominent event of the meditation was that my inner Trickster awakened! Suddenly, I was a Trickster Goddess, and my work was about creating the element of surprise to crack the veils of routine perceptions, while simultaneously holding compassionate awareness.

I realized next that my Trickster has been hidden in shadow for years! I must have felt scared of this energy within me, and buried it, but of course, burying anything brings out the worst in it. And, from it’s shadow position, my Trickster was still playing tricks, but not good kinds. I think this is where lots of my financial self-destructiveness comes from, from my desire to break open the artificial world for light to shine in. That desire by itself is beautiful, but when reviled, it turns ugly too. It’s still not “evil” but in its desire to be free, I repeat the same negative patterns that will jar me over and over enough until I am tired of the strain, and look at it (which I have been doing, and which leads me to this point).

So, I have not yet fully embodied my Trickster Goddess self, partly because it is such an intense energy shift. I have moments, though, where I am fully her, I am fully me and I am filled with playful, creative, ingenious and surprising ideas for how to make my life work, how to make money, how to relate better in the world, and how to create some cracks in the dysfunctional shared reality. Embodying this energy feels amazing, and I feel like it’s just the beginning!

Sep2

Meeting the Trickster, Part 2

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Meeting the Trickster, Part 2

My Trickster Journey continues a couple days ago, right after the tail end of the monkey wave, but still feeling the Trickster energies. I was in a facebook discussion where someone mentioned the difficulty that comes from knowing a situation from your own point of view, and knowing that it is your truth, and needing to impart that to someone else but seeing that they are not in a place where they can receive it because they are not in a place they can understand it. They explained it as, “this was true from my level but I could not find the door at her level.”

Something about this comment resonated with me and I wrote the following. It was one of those writing situations where as I wrote it, I discovered it for myself. I didn’t know I felt this way until I wrote it:

“‘This was true from my level but I could not find the door at her level,’ resonated with me. I have been in this situation on both ends. What a challenging place to be! Of course, when I’m on the side where’s there’s no door, I don’t see it until much later, I don’t see my lack of door-ness. Often, I analyze it once I do have the insight and ask myself what a person could have said or done differently to reach me. Usually, I can see something they could have said or done differently if they had known exactly what to do. Then, I always try to analyze that further and ask myself, “If I am ever in the situation where I am the person looking for that door, how will I know how to find it?” and to that answer I haven’t yet found an answer. I know it comes from deep listening and coming from a place of centered compassion. If I can enter into a connection with that person wherever they are at, then I have a chance. That requires at least a tiny bit of openness on their part, too.”

“Also, I think sometimes it requires me to learn how to take on a bit of the trickster. I haven’t figured how to do this yet, but I feel like its a skill I need. The wise trickster can walk into that situation, and not only connect with the person with compassion and integrity, but also can find just the right thing to say or do that will break through the defenses, create just enough element of surprise that the person can open up just enough to the receive the intended message. I think that’s part of how Rob Brezsny’s work works. By using language in such unusual, poetic and creative ways, he slips past the defenses of the routine ways of thinking, and actually gets some meaning through. People aren’t good at listening to words, because words get used in such stock, routine ways so much of the time. Also, we live so much in our own puppet theater heads, we don’t see when someone is trying to find our door, and we might not even care. But, if something can surprise us, that projected world cracks and a little bit of the “real” world has a chance to break through. There is an opportunity for an authentic moment, for a bit of brilliance, connection to come through, and right at that moment, if you are really in a place of compassion and integrity, you can say the thing that needs to be said, and you have a real chance of being heard!”

Wow, huh? I SO want to learn how to be a trickster!

Sep1

Meeting the Trickster, Part 1

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Meeting the Trickster, Part 1

So, the trickster visited me a couple weeks ago, which was during a monkey wave, naturally. : )

BTW… I follow this great calendar called the Keeping Time Calendar. I’ve mentioned it on this blog before, and basically it is a calendar that blends Western Astrology with modern archetypes and the Mayan time cycle, called the tzol-kin. I’ve been using it for a couple years now, and it’s amazingly spot on. Actually, a great way to learn more would be to check out my Interview with Stargazer Li.

Anyway… waves last 13 days, and this happened to be a monkey wave. Monkeys represent the playful trickster, and I certainly have been having a trickster adventure!

So, this was a Thursday evening. I was moving, was supposed to get the keys on Wednesday, and had to be out of the old apartment by Monday (or the Sheriff would come, blah). So, I picked up keys on Wednesday, but they were the wrong keys. Not only that, but at that same time, my van wouldn’t go into reverse so I ended up being temporarily stranded! Then, on Thursday, I swung by the landlord’s office to get the right keys (they knew I was coming) and they had left early for the day! I hadn’t been able to make it there sooner because of stranded vehicle situation, and as a result, I missed out on day 2 of the moving days I thought I was going to have! So, this left me with Friday and Sunday because Saturday I had a big all-day event I was co-hosting.

All day Wednesday and Thursday, I had tried to contain myself, and stay calm and centered. But, Thursday evening, my frustration boiled over and I started crying. I cried really, really hard. I was so frustrated that I had so little control over the situation (and especially after the events of the weeks before). I had thought a 5-day move would be perfect, because I could pack and unpack as I went, and adjust myself, Joy and Moxa pretty smoothly. But, things weren’t going at all like I had hoped, and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Finally, after a very long and very hard cry, I calmed down and realized something. I recalled that I was in the monkey wave, and I realized that this was happening to help me learn how to let go of control. I realized that my desire to make things happen exactly in a certain way keeps me from being spontaneous in the way that I want to be.

I also realized that the reason I keep myself poor (somewhat unconsciously, but sometimes I seem to outright reject or sabatoge prosperity), is because the work of trying to survive in poverty keeps me distracted from having real encounters with life, and with people. I get scared that if I get too close to people, I will lose my autonomy, and I will have to hand my will over to them.

So, interestingly, if I can learn to be less rigid about wanting to control every encounter and situation I face, and if I can free myself up enough to accept prosperity so that I’m not struggling for basic survival, then I can learn to have a more trickster-playful energy myself, and I can learn to encounter life in a fun and spontaneous way. This is always something I’ve wanted to know how to do, but not known how, and at this time it is unfolding itself to me!

This story continues. More tomorrow!